An Untitled Book.

Guest

Here is my newest book.....well it doesn't have a title yet. If you have any ideas, PM me or post them here.
Just a quick FYI=They/Them are two-legs, particullarly nasty ones, mainly mad scientists
Here's what I've written so far.

Prolouge

Eclipse strolled through the forest, smiling. Her gold eyes shone in anticipation of her hunt. Beside her padded Lexxus, a dark brown brute with a smug smile. At her other side was her best friend, Luna. Luna's silver fur shone in the dapple sun and the black crescent moon next to her left eye stood out more than usual.

Eclipse's own pelt was black as the night. It had a bit of a frosted silver look, as if the stars had come down from the heavens and landed on her back. Her eyes were like two gold moons against the black of her pelt.

Lexxus stopped. The three had come close to where the They usually came every so often. Luna shifted her weight nervously from paw to paw.

"Maybe we should head somewhere else," she mumbled, her pale green eyes darting around the forest. Lexxus merely shrugged, his smug smile widening.

There was a loud crack, and a bullet whizzed by, less than an inch from Luna's head. Lexxus's smile faded, and he growled, attacking Luna and pinning her down.

Three of Them stepped into view. Each was carrying a weapon, and all of them were pointed at Eclipse. She growled, swinging her head around to glare at Lexxus.

"This, Eclipse, is where we part. I can't have you ruining everything, now can I?" Eclipse gave him a questioning look. "Oh yeah, you never were told, were you? A shame really, well for you anyway."

One of Them stepped forward and, at a nod from Lexxus, smacked the side of Eclipse's head with his gun. Eclipse bit back a yelp of pain. Slowly, everything began fading away. The last thing Eclipse heard was Luna's howl of pain and distress and Lexxus's smug voice saying.

"Don't worry. They won't kill you," He chuckled sickeningly. "Yet."

Chapter 1

It was bright, blindingly bright. And there was pain, fierce, horrible, intense pain. Everything hurt Eclipse, every noise, every movement. Her head throbbed and her leg burned.

Slowly forcing her eyes open, Eclipse examined her surroundings. All around her were bright white walls. A grey door lay opposite her, closed and chained. Encasing her was a cage, several sizes to small. She groaned and closed her eyelids half way.

What happened, she asked herself, wishing for sleep to take her once more. Anything to stop the pain.

Subject: Re: An Untitled Book. Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:44 pm

I love it Jenn!! It could use a bit longer of a prologue, maybe edit it a bit. You have everything happening like that *snaps fingers*. You might want to put in a bit more detail, etc.

Guest

i think every things perfect n_n

Guest

Well, Raven's always been like that, so I don't mind.

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